WHO IS BUGGING YOU?

The very people who drive us nuts, are the ones who will help us to become stronger.

They are some of our biggest challenges.  However, they also can turn into our biggest triumphs.

No matter if it's a relative, a co worker, a child, or significant other who is difficult, the challenge is the very thing we need in our lives for character development.  

We don't necessarily ask for those people challenges.  However, there is a part of us that needs the life lesson.  The lessons can take any of these forms:

Learning to stand up to someone.

Being more patient.

Knowing when to release someone.

Learning how to love.

Appreciating and honoring yourself like you honor others.

Respectful of other's feelings.

Being more compassionate.

Releasing fearing others.

Forgiveness of others.

Forgiving self.

Being more understanding.

Simply letting go of trying to be right.

The way I have found to deal with others is to ask the question.  What inside of me has caused this to reflect in_____________?  In other words, if John, a co-worker does not speak to you.  Ask yourself, 'What inside of me is reflected in John?'

It may be the memory you store as a child.  Someone completely ignored you, and your subconscious stored that memory that is reflected in John. 

If your child is not behaving, no matter how you discipline that child, the lesson may be you are trying too hard to make them behave.  You may be overbearing and too controlling.  It could also be the opposite.  You are too soft and not disciplining the child.  Or, the lesson could be to take more time to listen to the child and find out why is she misbehaving.

Standing up to ask why you are having difficulty with anyone is the first step to healing that relationship.  Too often we are quick to dismiss someone's behavior and not look at the responsibility we have to take in that experience.

Even a rude clerk in a grocery store can easily be a lesson overlooked.  Are you going to let that one person ruin your day?  Do you need to stand up and take the time to speak to their manager?  Are you going to overlook one more person being rude to you, or are you going to speak up?   Or maybe you are going to recognize that this clerk has a  problem and is suffering, and just release the incident? 

HOW TO DEAL WITH THE DIFFICULT PERSON

The answer to dealing with any difficult person is to first take responsibility and know this is something you need to clean up which is why that experience came to you.  These experiences are from old data, old memories that keep us stuck and keep repeating in our lives.

The way to cleanse the data and memory it is to say, to your data and memory,

I love you

I am sorry

Please forgive me

Thank you.

You are not saying this to the difficult person, but to your own data and memory to erase the program.  

I have found in my own life, just saying I love you over and over to the data inside of me that has attracted any unpleasant situation, has given me almost instant freedom and peace, especially with difficult people.  

Remember, You are not trying to change the other person.  You are only working on yourself and taking full responsibility.

Light, love and blessings,

Walter

Here is a video on this ancient practice of the old Hawaiian practice called Ho'oponopono,  One of our teachers, Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len, co-author of Zero Limits, who is being interviewed, explains this powerful cleansing process to deal with any challenge.

Dealing With Other People's Stuff

"Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. " Dan Poynter

  

Watching the news lately, we see the uprising in Egypt.  Witnessing  anyone angry, sad, or plain unhappy often affects how we feel as well.

However, you must remember that this is their "stuff," and it doesn't have to be your "stuff" too.  You can choose what you allow to come into your consciousness.  You can choose to suffer with one person, or a group of suffering people.

Now naturally when a loved one is suffering it can deeply affect you.  But, you can lessen the emotional draining through Mindfulness/Meditation, and by holding the truth in mind about them and their situation.  The truth is;  In back of all suffering is perfection.  This is what Jesus and Buddha taught.  

Behind illness is health, behind poverty is wealth, behind sadness is joy. 

When a  loved one is going through pain,  it doesn't help them if you become depressed over their misfortune or illness. This simply makes two  miserable people.  You can empathize with them. However, what helps them most , is for you to hold a higher consciousness of them with love, because they can't see light in their present condition.  

An example is when a child comes home depressed because he received a bad grade.  You can hold a lofty vision of them, knowing that they can do better. Often people, no matter what their age, see themselves as complete failures. But, when you see them achieving and express that to them, they are inspired.

When you hold a higher consciousness for someone, you are radiating light.  And, since we are all made up of energy, they feel your positive energy which in turn lifts them up without you ever saying a word.  Telling them to think positive is often difficult when someone is in fear and pain.  

More Ways to Help

You can see their problem in your mind's eye as already resolved to a perfect solution.  If they are sick, picture them well.  If they are broken-hearted, see them happy in love.  If they are broke, see them having wealth.

You can even do this sitting next to a person lying in a hospital bed.  See them whole, perfect and complete.  You are not trying to will them well, or keep them from dying.  Everyone must travel their own path.  You are simply holding the light for them.  They may get well, aided by your love.  If they make their transition, it helps them to go in peace.  And, for you, it's one of the highest, most beautiful experiences you can have, by loving someone leaving this plane. 

(If you fear that you too will get their disease, counter it with, "This doesn't apply to me.")

Visualizing perfection is not a child's play.  What you are doing is looking behind their problem to the truth and that takes courage.  Try to see others as whole, perfect, and complete.

Remember,you are not trying to change, heal, or will them out of their misery or illness.

You are simply are looking at their true selves. 

Your thoughts focused on the good in any situation helps it to transform.  As they say,  "Find the good and praise it."

You can do this with world problems. 

If you are reading about any disturbance or seeing it on television, see that there is a perfect solution.  This helps you from becoming depressed, and sends light to the situation.

See peace restored in Egypt. (Don't get into how their uprising will affect the U.S..   Leave that to the politicians).  It won't make the Egyptians' situation better, if you are upset and living in fear too.  If you can't do something about a problem, let it go.

If you are working with grumpy, gossipy, rude, egotistical co-workers or bosses, know they are simply reacting to their insecurities and fears.  Something disturbing is going on in their minds that is causing them to live in darkness.    You can protect yourself from their "stuff," by surrounding yourself with love, and sending it to them as well. Yes, they will feel will feel your vibration of love because we are all one.

Use this same technique for yourself.  See whatever challenge you are facing resolved easily effortlessly and beautifully. Surround yourself with love.

Here's a great article on how to deal with people in the "Ain't It Awful?" club at work.

Click Here

That Doesn't Apply to Me

Have you ever been with someone, and you both see a sad situation, and the person you are with says the famous phrase, "There but for the grace of God goes I"? Or, maybe you have said that yourself when you see someone suffering.  

Whether you have said it, or someone you were with did, it, doesn't matter.  The fact is that phrase is fear-based.  

And, if there is fear present, you may find yourself worried about money, your job,  or walking faster past a homeless or a disabled person fearing you could "catch" what they have. 

Whether you believe in a Higher power or not, if you fear something, you attract it to you.    This is the law of attraction. 

Where did that phrase come from?  Not the Bible as some might expect.  It is widely attributed to John Bradford (1510-1555), an English evangelical preacher.  The word is, Bradford was imprisoned for  allegedly "trying to stir up a mob."  When he saw criminals, fellow inmates being led to the scaffold for punishment for their crimes, he uttered the phrase, "There but for the grace of God goes I." 

In 1955, Bradford  was not beheaded, but instead was burned at the stake alive.

Still want to use his phrase?  

How to Deal with Other's Misfortune.

So, how do you deal with the bad news you hear through others or the media?  Send them love and your good wishes.  Love is the greatest power in the universe, and since we are all connected, like prayers the energy of love connects to  them.  

Don't forget yourself either.    There is a small child inside of each of us who needs comforting, and assurance  when we hear negative news.  Tell yourself it's OK, and send yourself love. It also helps to practice feeling Divine Love surrounding and protecting you always.

Mindfulness

Tune into your feelings and thoughts.  Are you fearing that the misfortune you heard  could happen to you?  Awareness (Mindfulness) of thoughts and emotions helps distance you from them.  But, when they are unchecked these same thoughts and emotions, drive you to do and say destructive things.  Mainly, you beat up yourself or overindulge in drink, shopping and other habits.

Now you have prolonged the fear which became stronger, and you have the residual of substance abuse, or a huge credit card bill to deal with.  The underline fear is still there waiting to be handled.

So mindfully tune into your feelings, and thoughts.  Your awareness is the laser that dissolves and moves away fear.  Just by being aware that you are afraid, lessens the hold.

Use Positive Affirmations, or Scriptures.

You can also use a positive self-help phrase, other than Bradford's fear-based phrase, and most importantly, give yourself love.

When you hear of other's misfortunes, you don't really know exactly what happened in their lives to cause the situation, or what is truthfully going on behind their  problems.   

There have been many media interviews people who have lost jobs.  You may think, "That could happen to me too," and live in fear.  But, what you don't know is that person interviewed may have hated the job they lost.  They later went on, like many people do, to find a better job, or start a business making more money than they dreamed, not to mention being happier. 

So when you see a misfortune, drop your fears and try using this phrase: 

 "That Doesn't Apply to Me."

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Why Is This Happening?

Recently I connected with a lovely lady I will call Beth, who is  co-chair, heading a project to save the beautiful land around Deer Park  from being developed.  Deer Park is a monastery at the top of a mountain near San Diego which was founded by Thich Nhat Hanh, Zen Buddhist Master, Mindfulness Teacher and Peace Activist. 

Our family travels to Deer Park for meditation and retreats, like the thousands who come every year from around the world. 

Last weekend Walter and I went there, and I was reminded of the mission I have joined to help Beth and others preserve the land of refuge for so many people. 

Through a recent email from Beth, she shared with me that U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords who was shot in Arizona, is her personal friend. I could feel her sadness in her email.  

When awful things happen, it's only natural to wonder why?  Our minds search for answers, and when answers don't come that satisfy us, often we turn to  anger and want to blame any and every person. No doubt, you have heard the blame slung around by the Republicans and Democrats sounding off and pointing the fingers over the shooting. 

These types of tragic events lead us to imagine and construct a whole story in our heads of why this has happened.  We all go through our personal tragedies that send our minds spinning with fear. 

Ruminating on "why" is a dangerous, slippery slope which adds kindle to the fire.  First of all, we often don't know right away why something tragic has happened.  Secondly, when we don't have the truth, we imagine stories in our heads which are often far worse than the reality. We obsess about the situation to the point we become furious or very sad.  

Sadness is anger turned inward, because we can't do something about a situation. 

When we ruminate over a "wrong" we help collect more of the same type of negative energy.  Instead we must lift ourselves out of the cesspool of anger and blame, to be the light for ourselves and others.

For example, recently in the news, a family lost their home just before Xmas, but they turned the incident around to see how they could help others.  So the homeless family  when interviewed, said they didn't spend time asking, "Why?" or "Why Me?"  Instead they served  Xmas dinner to help other homeless people at a shelter. 

How do we find peace over these unspeakable tragic acts?

Mindfulness.

Nothing has ever been resolved by anger or sadness.  We must go inside and just be with our feelings.  We must become the parent to those feelings, by first acknowledging that the hurt is there, then comfort those feelings.  Thich Nhat Hanh says to "love them."  Love your feelings the same way a parent would love a child who is crying.

Inside of us is a small child crying and hurt.  It's important that we nurture that child.   

When we send our feelings love, we are turning away from our limited mind.    The mind doesn't know.  Many of us are stuck asking it,  "Why?" or "Why Me?"  

Our webmaster  Randy, who has had four heart attacks, counsels other heart attack patients.  He says "I can't stand it when people feel sorry for themselves and keep asking, 'Why Me?'  I say, Why not you?  Instead, find the strength to just go on."

When we are mindful, and stop torturing the mind, and letting the mind torture us asking 'Why?' , the answers come out of our silence from a deep place of wisdom.  So if you are hurt, afraid and anxious, find immediate comfort and peace over the situation by going inside. Locate in your body where you feel the hurt and fear.   Cradle it with your loving awareness, and watch it dissolve.   

Dropping the stories you concoct in your head and being with your feelings in silence, allows your higher, intuitive self to take over.  You will not only find the answers to any situation, but you will also find the right path to proceed in life with peace and wisdom.

Blessings, love and light to the Arizona victims and their families.  May you find inner peace, healing and love.

Watch this incredibly beautiful video by David Ault:

Make a Commitment to Live in the Present



When we are feeling badly over what we didn't and could have done, we are living in the past. 

People ask, how can I live in the present moment when I'm so busy.  Easy.  Simply ask yourself, "How much is your inner peace worth to you?"

When you are busy and spinning around, that's exactly when you need to focus on whatever task is before you.  Doing one thing and thinking of another causes stress.  Stay focus on the present moment because in that present moment, all is well.  This sets up the law of attraction for the next moment to be OK too.



Let Go of Self-Disapproval!

Last year there was so much talk about the economical crisis, it's only natural to look at our own financial state with despair and fear. This new year, change the old recording. 

 Perhaps we are telling ourselves "I should have not invested in stocks." "I should have saved more money." "I don't make enough money." "I didn't get enough education." "I threw away too much money," or "I charged to much." 

Whether we realize it or not, this type of self-talk is disapproving not only of our financial status, but of ourselves.

Disapproving of self keeps us from loving ourselves.  It's like trying to put fresh, clean water (love) into a cup (you), already filled with muddy water (toxins from disapproving of self).

Now, more than ever, we need to be supportive of ourselves.  Love is the only power that stands up against fear.  "Fear and Love cannot occupy the same place."  In spiritual practices, this is why God is called Love.

We can't depend on others to give us this love, because quite frankly, they're looking for that support and love too.  Even in the closest relationships if another person gives you love, and you are not open to loving yourself, you will still feel unloved.

Here are several ways to stop disapproving of yourself:

Be mindful of your thoughts. 

Many of us aren't aware we are disapproving of ourselves.  Our immediate reaction, is "Yes, I love myself."  However,  if you tune into your thoughts and what you are telling yourself, you'll quickly learn otherwise.  It's shocking to see that we're not only  disapproving of ourselves, but we are using self violence as well.  We beat ourselves up constantly with degrading thoughts.    

What are you saying to yourself?

• I didn't do ____"  "That was so stupid of me." "Why did I say that?"  "I don't know what's wrong with me."  "I'm getting old."  "I'm too young to get respect." "I'm fat." "Why didn't I do _____"       "

Record Your Thoughts for One Day

Write down what you are saying to yourself.  You'll find the same thoughts keep coming up over and over again.  Being Mindful,  is like turning on a light in our heads.  We don't have to do anything, just be aware.  Mindfulness is a laser dissolving negative thoughts which unwatched, become feelings and emotions. 

However, just by being aware of thoughts, change the old patterns.  When you change your thoughts, your world changes.  

Have a healthy and happy New Year. 

Attract Only the Good

It's important to focus only on what you want in life. So many of us mindlessly think constantly about what we don't want in life, and that's exactly what we get. More of what we resist, criticize and judge.

Remember, "Where thought goes, energy flows." So refuse to get caught up in the negative, instead focus on what will make you happy.

Feeling you already have your goals is extremely important. Why? It puts you in that high energy state and activates the law of attraction. It's a wonderful place to be. 

A great time to feel yourself living your goals is when you meditate or say prayers. Make it a habit, just like brushing your teeth. 

After spending five, ten or more minutes feeling and visualizing, then let it go. Why? Because you will start clutching and grasping at your goal trying to make it happen. This is what Buddha and other spiritual masters say causes suffering. That grasping and clutching, tells the Universe you don't have what you want. And the universe gives us back what we project out. 

So see it, feel it, let it go, and have faith. Refuse to entertain thoughts of why you can't have your dreams come true. 

Think about this. Everything you see in the room that you are now in as you read this message, was someone's vision, their goal, before it became a product.

Spiritual Gangsta Meaning and Goldie Hawn

Actress Goldie Hawn was recently photographed wearing a t-shirt with the writing, "Spiritual Gangsta."  

That name stuck in my mind and I became like a gangsta who relentlessly hunts down her hit target.  I couldn't get the title out of my head.  

I wanted to call up Goldie and ask her, "What does that mean?"

Although I have worked with and publicized many celebrities as a former publicist for ABC and CBS, she is one person I would love to meet, but not because she's an Academy Award winning actress.  It's because I have read over the years how she has managed to be faithful to her spiritual self and is open about her beliefs.

It can be extremely difficult for many people balancing their careers with spiritual practices, but especially for those working in Hollywood, where everything is plastic, materialistic, and an illusion of power.

Even though Goldie hasn't appeared in movies in a while, her life partner, actor Kurt Russell, and her daughter Kate Hudson, are also big movie stars.   So Hollywood is still very much in her life. 

On the other side, Goldie who comes from a Jewish/Christian background mediates and studies Eastern philosophies and religions.  She founded the Hawn Foundation  which seeks to help transform children's lives teaching them to be aware of their emotions and thoughts, as well as giving them Mindfulness tools to improve their academic performance, enhance the quality of their lives, and help others in the community.  She believes a peaceful happy child is the first step towards a peaceful world.

We totally get that.  We too have taught Mindfulness to children when Walt and I had our nonprofit, and now we teach Mindfulness to parents.  It's wonderful to feel a busy, anxious classroom filled with children or parents shift into peace.

WHAT IS A SPIRITUAL GANGSTA?

Since I don't know Goldie, I went inside by meditating and asked for the meaning of a Spiritual Gangsta, which resonated with me so much.  Inside of us all is wisdom and answers.  All we have to do is get quiet, ask, and then trust the answer.

Here's what I came up with:

A Spiritual Gangsta is fierce about spiritual practice.  He or she refuses to let the world, especially negative news depress them. 

A Spiritual Gangsta is strong and looks beyond appearances and knows that inside of them is a power that can overcome anything.

A Spiritual Gangsta defies the odds, and refuses to give in even when it seems life is against them.

A Spiritual Gangsta recognizes that anything that stands in their  way is just a temporary detour.

A Spiritual Gangsta is disciplined, and prays or meditates daily even when their ego says, "You can skip today".

A Spiritual Gangsta turns around negative thoughts and replaces them with positive thoughts.

A Spiritual Gangsta stands up to fear with love and watches it dissolve.

A Spiritual Gangsta turns away from anyone or anything that does not support their dreams and life mission.

A Spiritual Gangsta knows that despite an appearance of a lacking bank account, it's a temporary situation, and that soon they will have prosperity because it's their Divine Birthright.

A Spiritual Gangsta believes dreams can come true, despite the state of the economy or what others say.

A Spiritual Gangsta is a Spiritual Warrior always seeking out the higher truth and turning away from false appearances. 

A Spiritual Gangsta  relentlessly pursues a connection with his or her Higher Self.

Be a Spiritual Gangsta!